Trust is a funny thing. It is something that is hard to give, but easy to take back. Who's to say what can push someone to rescind their trust. I have always had trust issues, most would say I had good reason, and until recently I would have agreed with them. You see, I did not have the ideal upbringing that we all grow up thinking is normal, at an early age I learned about loss and pain. I know all to well what it is like to have a parent lie to you, abandon you, and hurt you in some of the most personal ways. But that is what life is. You are the sum total of your life experiences, and you can either choose God's way or you can choose to carry that around with you. That's what I did for a very long time. I carried that pain, anger and shame for years; well into adulthood. I made some bad choices too, because of the rejection that I felt. I even had anger at God. Then I met my husband. No, it hasn't been the best marriage that it could have been, but the blame rests on both of our shoulders. I am learning how to trust, and I have God to thank. I was angry at God for many years, but that really got me nowhere fast. It took some wonderfully Godly people to break through to me. I love them dearly and they know who they are. I now see that you cannot fully trust anyone until you trust God with all you are and all you have; because until then, your trust is conditional. After you let God start his work in your life your trust will gradually start to shift. He loves you and wants to make you whole. Learning that lesson set me free. Learning that his love was unconditional and not based on my behavior or works was even more freeing. I want everyone to experience that freedom. Yes I am still working on my trust issues, but that is what life is, an exercise in trust.........
