I want to write about  a wonderful song I discovered this week.  It is not a new song, but it is powerful.  The song is "The Promise" by The Martins.  I have to say it is one of the best songs I have ever heard.  It talks about what God has promised us.  He hasn't promised us silver or gold, but he did say he would be there for us.  We often get confused and think that If we are seeking God's will everything should be sunny; that is often not the case.  We as christians (and non-christians) are going to have problems.  We are going to have trials.  There are going to be times life knocks us to our knees.  That's just how it goes.  But God is there he wants to help you.  You may think that you or your problems are too far gone but no, you never are.  God did not promise that we would not have trials; he did not promise that we would not be lonley.  He did promise to help you fight and to dry your tears. He loves us so very much and doesn't want to see any of us in pain, but on earth pain is what we have to fight.  Satan just loves to see us doubt God when we hurt.  It is just so easy to blame God instead of asking him to help you fight.  We must spend our time of need  on our knees in prayer.  Absolute submission of the problem to God is the only way to get it solved.  It may cause heartache in the meantime, but God has a plan.  He has infinite time and resources, and he can do above and beyond anything we could ever imagine.  I am going to post a link to the lyrics at the end.  Please check it out it is a wonderful song.  God is so amazing, you never know how he is going to reach you.  Just listen for that still small voice because God doesn't like to yell.  We expect him to be loud when he talks, thats just the way we are, but God often starts as a whisper.  By the time we hear him yell we have gone so far that we think we are lost indefinitly.  By the time he yells, he has been whispering for a while.  You can probably look back on your life and attest to this fact.  God is bigger than your problems.  He is bigger than your mistakes.  He loves you and will always catch you.  Just "be still and know"......

P.S.  Here is the link http://www.lyricstime.com/the-martins-the-promise-lyrics.html

Praise his name.....

Oh, hallelujah!!!!!  I love Jesus so very much!!!  I don't really know what I would do or where I would be without the Lord on my side.  This was a tough week.  I was sick first of all, but I let that affect what I ate, how I behaved and whether I went to church.  But, my Jesus knows me and never ceases to prod me when he knows I am giving less than my best.  Ady (my husband) is doing very well.  It is so exciting to see him grow and learn.  Knowing how far he has come and seeing where he wants to be is so awesome.  I can't help but praise.  It has been a long hard road, some of it in the dark.  He struggled for a long time.  Even after we moved out on our own; we lived there for seven months and were so isolated, even though we lived in town.  It was hard seeing him shut down.  I did not want to let him down, but the selfishness was still there.  There were times that I wanted to just throw up my hands.  I wanted to run, scream, tell him how I thought he should tackle his recovery, but I knew that it had to be on his terms.  He had to do it his way, in his time.  Now look at him, he is just amazing!!!!!!  Point of Grace said it best "there's a cross to bridge the great divide!"  There is a way.  You just have to look for it, it is not always obvious or clear, but it is always there.  Prayer is amazing.  It can do awesome things, it takes on a life of it's own.  Anytime you bring something to God and leave it with him, he works it.  He will pursue you forever if you let him.  He wants the best for you.  You may have to go through some hard times, but God is not the author of pain.  This verse gets me through the hard days with Ady: 

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."  1 Corinthians 10:13

That verse is something I encourage everyone to learn and quote.  When Satan attacks you on every playing field you have to be prepared.  Look up verses.  When you know your loved one is hurting or sick pray them over your loved one.  Believe me they work.  Once when things were really bad for us, I sat in the bathroom crying, then I remembered the verses in the Old Testament  when Jacob was returning to Esau.  Jacob wrestled with the Angel of the Lord.  He told the Angel, I will not let me go unless you bless me.  I prayed that over and over.  I wasn't letting go of God until he blessed me.  I am clinging to him always...... 

Keep the Faith. 

Just an all around bad day....

Well today is a break from trying to word my next blog about Panic and anxiety.  Today is just a post to vent.  I know my life is not bad, heck it is pretty darn good.  But, today has not been an awesome day.  I have bronchitis, so the dr. prescribed a steroid and an antibotic since I have asthma.  The medicine has made me a bit mean...... It doesn't help that I am very hormonal this part of the month.  Anyway, my husband is sick, has been for longer than I have been.  We have been around each other far too much.  So I am going to my moms for a couple of days.  Don't worry, we do this all the time.  Neither of us work so we spend 24/7 with each other, if we don't get breaks, we would cause each other serious harm.  On the panic front my husband has been doing really well.  He is thinking of working with disability to go back to work.  He also started a website about panic: free-of-panic.webstarts.com.  It has lots of information and will be updated soon.  Alright, now that I have vented a bit I'm good......

Until next time!!

First Blog.....

Well, this is my first foray into the blogging world.  I love to write, but I prefer to write longhand rather than type.  I am fully relying on God for this because I feel he has called me to do this.  I have no idea what I am doing really, just putting it all out there.  Here goes.....


My husband suffers from panic attacks.  I was like a lot of you, I did not really understand at all what he was talking about.  You see, he was well when we met.  Then a few months after we met he started retreating.  I guess here is the point I tell you he also suffers from agoraphobia.  So, I would get angry because he could not take me where I wanted to go or he was not able to go to work.  All the while he was not telling me how serious it was. 

I ended up leaving, because I selfishly believed that I was right and that God should listen to me and do what I wanted when it came to my marriage.  I did not understand what was happening.  I had been hurt before in my life so instead of trying to work our problems out, I erected walls around my heart and mind.  When I prayed I prayed for God to change him, fix him, help him.  All the while wanting God to save my marriage.  I ended up having an aneurysm.  When I awoke, I knew that I wanted to be with my husband and no one else.  I also knew that the key to our marriage wasn't with God fixing him, it was with God working on me.  So the purpose of this blog is to give you suggestions, for me to vent when it gets hard and for you to ask questions.  And always, to give God the glory.  Until next time

Kelli