Gotta say, this is not my finest hour. I am sad and lonely. I wish I did not know that the choices I am making are the right ones. I would give just about any of my worldly possessions to be back at home with my husband at this moment. But, this cannot be. This is the path that I feel the Lord calling me down. I am not saying that we will be apart forever (Lord I hope not), but at this moment I feel that he is never going to change if I keep ignoring the problem (let's face it, I have run from the problem). My husband is my world, my number two priority behind God, but we each have issues, which in turn have punctured holes in the lungs of our marriage. The hardest thing I ever had to do was give him back his ring, separate our finances and walk away. He did not choose to walk away, I did. It got to hard play the role of supporting wife when your husband can't be supportive back. You can only be hurt so many times before God expects you to change your circumstances. It was a hard choice. I believe we can work it out, I expect us to work it out. God is in control though not me so I need to seek his will for our marriage and not my own. Do you know how tiring it is to keep rowing against the current? All you end up doing is wearing yourself out!!! Before long you just feel like giving up. I still love my husband, and I always will. I have learned that you have to have that agape love. The love that is not selfish. That is not to say you must disregard yourself in the process. It is a trust you form with your heavenly Father that says, Lord right now I don't feel like doing this. I don't feel like loving him right now Lord, but I want your love to flow through me and splash out. We are unable to love like that, but God makes it possible. He makes all things possible. He will give you strength and shelter.
Lord, I love you and I humbly ask you to pour your love out in me so that I may love others the way you would have me to. I ask you to show me any area of my life I am withholding from you and help me to give it to you. Guide my words and help me grow in you daily. In Jesus holy name
Amen.
Whatever you are going through, whoever has hurt you, The One who feeds the sparrows will also take care of you. He will give you all you need for that day. In the wilderness God gave the Israelites just enough manna for that day, no more no less. He wanted them to depend on him not themselves. It is only through that attitude that we will not only survive, but thrive. If you are in a tough spot, don't be afraid to depend on your Lord and Savior Jesus. He will get you through. Maybe not the way you foresaw it, but when you get through, you will see how his plan for you unfolded.
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